FML, College.

You certainly FML.

I've got no time to write all about the good stuff yet I can stay up really late to type down how ASDF!@#!$@!$ every passing day becomes. Ironic. College sucks. Well, the adjustment part, it is. I miss my friends. It's not that I do not have friends in college. No, no. I've got a lot of them but it's really different when a person REALLY knows who and what you are. And these people are my highschool friends. They are awesome, the most awesome set of friends I could ever have! There is never a dull moment when I'm with them. I can act the way I wanted without having to think if what I'm doing is fine for them. I can say things, random things and we can talk hours about it. It's just endless. But don't get me wrong, I'm sooo alright with my block. Something's just really missing :( I can't explain. I just can't. You know those times when you feel like you can't really share some things because you're afraid they will judge you, those times when you and your newfound friend just can't say a thing and there's only an eerie silence between you? I can't ignore it. It's really different.

But what I hate the most is the academic pressure. Ugh. What I dread the most is being stressed because of a self-imposed pressure. I feel like there's a competition within me. I'm against myself. Part of me tells that I should be contented. While the other half says I must strive to go for the top. Have you ever felt the same? You want to get on top yet you're really lazy to get moving. Wait. I'm actually exerting an effort but, well, sometimes you can't always have things your way even if you put all my effort into it and maybe that's how it's gonna be. It's a big, big, big world anyway. Maybe I'll fit in somewhere, somewhere where I'll have my way. Maybe it's not in UST, maybe it's not here. I'll dream for what I can aspire, reach for what I can see and go for what I believe in.

So help me, God.