Sad day is Crazy

“I’m Crazy for this Girl” has been playing on my playlist for the nth time. Don't mind me changing the she to he.

Would you look at him

He looks at me,

He's got me thinking about him constantly,

But don’t know how I feel,

And as he carries himself without a doubt,

I wonder if he’s figured out,

I’m crazy for this boy.

I think cupid hit me during the most unexpected time and I can’t help but feel sad--sad because this love story is far from reality, just now. This might be the first time that I’m actually considering the prospect of getting serious with you-know-what. What is not to fall in love with a guy who has everything? He’s an athlete—a tall athlete, a scholar, and a good-looking guy with some sense of humor. There’s just one hitch, he might think I’m a big sister, not someone he’d get serious with anyway. But hell, I’m only a year his senior!

When I was in high school, I imposed a “no-boyfriend-allowed” policy on myself which didn’t exactly turn out right. Now in college, I did the same thing in the hopes of getting serious with the practical side of life. The kind of stuff such as finances, business and the like; I’m taking up a business course and loved it anyway. I thought I was doing things right until this. Maybe getting me off from the Philippines to Canada was a way saving me from heart ache; I won’t have to deal with fictional things like love. This explains why until now, I haven’t had any good relationships.

Yesterday, we had dinner at Mr and Mrs George Ekman’s which was superb! We had Chinese food for appetizer and main dish while Italian pasta was for dessert. I thought it was a weird combination--Chinese-Italian--but anyhow, after cleaning up the dishes, we had a conversation about boyfriends. And boy did the question go to me. I replied I’m not looking right now. My focus is solely business. And that if ever I’ll get a boyfriend, he should be rich and tall. I don’t know if I made a good impression, everything I said was really spontaneous. But thinking about my answer yesterday, the guy I’m liking isn’t even rich. Maybe he’s tall, but not rich. You really can’t choose who to like or fall in love.

It’s too late anyway; I have chosen to go away by myself. This is for my good, they said; and I trusted them. Let’s see what will happen a few years from now. Tomorrow’s tidings might be worth the heart ache today.

_____

On the other note, they left me. The family left and went to the grocery without waking me up. I’m just pissed off. What’s worse is we’ve got visitors. It’s a really bad day trying to fake a smile for them. And here they are. Bye!