i don't care.

I feel I'm not good enough. I'm just a newbie in this blog-thing and almost everyone I knew about this already discouraging me. *sighs* My grammar might not be too good and my posts are not really a fad but this is some sort of diary, right? It doesn't matter as long as I'm putting my thoughts into writing. I thought it's like in a confession where I could express everything and be anonymous without being criticized for being myself. But it turned out to be otherwise. I find it hard to be liberal, I can't type down the words and phrases that I really want to be read. Why?

I fear criticism. I fear rejection.

When I first, officially, opened up my blog to the world through y!m, I got the first message: "Bonggang-bonggang blog!" I thought it was a complement but it was not. Mahaba daw, ang kornii. NagPM pa siya. Ewan ko lang kung nang-aasar lang pero nakakabw*set eh. Tss... But what's worse is if your own sibling tells you, "Nagba-blog-blog ka pa, wala namang kwenta. Tignan nalang naten kung maaasikaso mo pa yan pag fourth year ka na." There's a truth in it, that I might not manage this thing when the school year starts pero kelangan ba talaga sabihin na walang kwenta ang pagsusulat ko? It's like stabbing me because writing is my passion and telling me that my sharing my thoughts are just a waste of time, it makes me depressed >.< So much for being a sister. I'm exerting effort in my blog and I don't care if you'll give it a damn. Thank you for the people who encouraged me in my blogging. Thank you Jazmine and Julian :)